Funerals are for everyone who wants to help their families and people celebrate their lives and say goodbye to them in a personalised way. If the person who has died led an alternative life or was part of a subculture such as Goth, they may desire a Goth funeral celebrating their lifestyle and their life. Goth is a subculture and one which has many within its community. Goth (different to gothic) is a subculture of people all over the world with a large amount of Goths living in North Yorkshire. Requests for Goth funerals have increased.
What is a Goth Funeral?
Plain and simple a Goth funeral is a funeral for a Goth. The longer version is it is more than a traditional funeral which are steeped in religious readings with very little mention of the person the funeral is for. Goth funerals are celebrations of the life of the person who has died. Within this celebration is homage to the Goth subculture which was important to the person in life.
Goths are people who see beauty in places and objects non-Goths may not. Goth funerals are as individual as each Goth who dies with common ground; music and their interpretation of what being a Goth meant to them. Music and clothing are the core of the Goth community as are friends and socialising. Goth funerals are generally well attended with many wanting to say goodbye and to celebrate the life of a friend.
Goths are Individuals
There are many different genres within the Goth community, with Goths dressing differently but sharing similar interests. No two people are a like so why would all Goths be the same? Goth funerals celebrate individuality within the subculture. There is so much more to expectations of hearing The Sisters of Mercy and the body of the person who has died arrives in a black coffin in a horse drawn carriage. Like non-Goths personalised funerals and celebrations of life are required.
Ellie Farrell Goth Funeral Celebrant
This is where I come in as a Goth funeral celebrant. As a Goth wedding and funeral celebrant and a celebrant trainer, creating ceremonies marking all of life’s events for Goths and other alternative people is what I specialise in. Based in Whitby North Yorkshire (home to Whitby’s twice annual festival celebrating Goth subculture), I also travel all over the UK to perform ceremonies of celebration for Goths and alternative people. Scarborough, Teesside, Leeds, and York are some of the most requested places for Goth funerals to be held in.
Goth Funerals in Whitby
I have created and led funerals, memorials, and some scattering of ashes ceremonies here in Whitby. Whitby doesn’t have a crematorium (Scarborough is the nearest one to Whitby), but there is a cemetery and natural burial grounds close by. Some have a two part funeral with the main ceremony and cremation in their hometown and an additional ceremony here in Whitby.
Two part funeral ceremonies aren’t reserved for Goth funerals; others decide to have their ashes scattered here in Whitby too. For those who have attended Goth events and meet ups here in Whitby, choosing this to be the place their ashes are scattered is poignant. A place where they had many happy times and friendships were forged becomes a place for ashes to be scattered.
Choices of Goth Funerals
Natural burials are appealing to many people who have concerns about the earth. Cardboard coffins with messages and images of moments in the life of the person who has died are often requested over expensive black coffins with red lining.
Cemetery burials take place in municipal (not a designated burial ground for one specific religion) cemeteries. Some want a headstone and a grave which can be visited by family and friends. It isn’t unheard of for visitors to spend longer amounts of time and have picnics and listen to some music as they gather at graves of missed people on specific dates.
Cremations and direct cremations are favoured by some with the ashes (cremains) kept by loved ones or scattered in a special place with a short ceremony.
Memorial ceremonies which take place after the funeral (or instead of if direct cremation has been requested),
The ceremony content as with every funeral, celebration of life and memorial is imperative as this is the most important part on the day of a funeral. A funeral is an important part of the grieving process and helping people to recall happy times is important.
Funerals for Pagan Goths
Paganism is practised by many in the Goth subculture and for those it is important to, their belief can be included into a funeral ceremony. As a Priestess I have led full Pagan funerals for Goths and many ceremonies which give a nod to the beliefs and spiritual practices of the person who has died.
Candles and incense can be lit (if allowed by the venue), poems, prayers and dedications can be said. For those who follow a Pagan path, beliefs are personal as there are many branches to the tree of Paganism.
What Happens at a Goth Funeral
There is more to a Goth funeral than the coffin, hearse, burial/cremation, and black clothing.
The false assumption of the funeral having a certain aesthetic such as a black coffin, horses with black plumes, Victorian mourning attire, taking place on a grey skies day is incorrect. As with other funerals, Goth funerals take place when they are required too with transport, coffins and clothing not being cliches.
Goth funerals are as emotional as other funerals. As we celebrate a person’s life, we are there to also say goodbye to them. There will be tears and sadness, as with many celebrations of life there will also be smiles, stories recalled, memories shared and a gathering of a community of friends from across the UK (sometimes further too).
If you are attending a Goth funeral, you may or may not have a created a mental image of what you will see with the main image being as is seen at most funerals, people wearing black. You won’t see other guests wearing formal attire as guests attend in what they want to wear not what outdated custom determines they should wear.
Many guests (as also happens at other funerals) will be carrying single red or black roses to place on the coffin or into the grave (where permitted if the roses aren’t real roses).
Music won’t be hymns or classical. Like everyone else music choices are personal, but it will mostly be from the vast genre of music Goths listen to.
Personal items such as clothing or hats may adorn the coffin.
Expect to see a non-Goth, ‘normie’ funeral celebrant who looks out of place, gets the person’s name wrong and is trying to fit the ceremony into their usual templated way with generic wording said and irrelevant poems heard. Expect the other thing that is Goth are the guests and the hearing of three pieces of music never mentioned by the celebrant.
This unfortunately happens at many Goth and alternative funerals because funeral directors are loyal to their favoured celebrants and use them regardless of what kind of ceremony they are required to create. Good funeral directors should match the ceremony style to a celebrant they can recommend. Some do this, most do not. This is disrespectful to the person if their funeral isn’t representative of their lifestyle and is taken by a formal suit wearing celebrant without any knowledge of the Goth subculture.
Your Goth Celebrant
I travel all over the UK for funerals, celebrations of life, memorial ceremonies, weddings, handfasting and other ceremonies. I do this because I believe in giving back to my community and subculture and to help others who lived a Goth life to have a proper Goth funeral or ceremony.
Goth is about self-expression, not conforming to follow what others do, look like, or listen to. Goth is an appreciation of the things in life others do want to see as beautiful or ‘normal’. Goth isn’t being miserable. Macabre, death obsessed or dressing up for events at Whitby. Goth is a lifestyle and part of life is death.
Goth weddings happen every month of the year (black isn’t just for Halloween) and Goth funerals happen too.
If you are interested in a Goth funeral, or a Goth celebrant, please contact me or ask your funeral arranger to contact me. You have choices.