These ceremonies take place after the funeral, or if a direct cremation took place. Memorial ceremonies can also be held if somebody died abroad and had a funeral there. Memorials are the closure needed to grieve if there wasn’t a funeral ceremony, or if those requesting a memorial were unable to attend the funeral.
Dress code can be formal or casual and these ceremonies can be held outdoors in a garden, woodlands, on a beach or indoors in a venue of your choice.
Music, poems, stories, shared memories by those attending can be heard and unlike funeral ceremonies held in a crematorium, there isn’t a time length constriction. Videos and photos can be seen, and it can be an evening or daytime event. Candles can be lit, and guests can take home small gifts in memory of the person.
How honoured would I be
if you remember me
To gather in a place and recount our deeds
To listen to words each speaker reads
Think of me and remember my life
The good times, the fun, not my sorrows or strife
Don’t think of my absence as an empty shame
Keep me alive by saying my name
How honoured would I be
If you memorialise me
Don’t build me a shrine
Just spare me some time
Ellie Farrell
Scattering Ceremonies
Ashes (cremains) can be scattered if landowners permission has been granted. Many choose for ashes to be scattered in the Garden of Remembrance at the crematorium where the cremation took place. Some choose to scatter ashes on beaches, in water, in woods or in places of personal choice to them or the person who has died.
Words are said, a poem or a prayer can be recited, and the ashes are released to the chosen location. For many people, a scattering of ashes ceremony is the final chapter in the life story of their person.
Release my ashes into the air
The thought of confinement I cannot bear
Place with thought on grassy ground
Lay them on water no longer to be found
Let the breeze of the wind float them away
Release them in the morning on a warm summer’s day
Leave them to sit on autumn leaves,
Swirl them at the base of woodland trees
Ellie Farrell
Burial of Ashes Ceremonies
Inurnment/interment/burial of ashes in a family burial plot, a cemetery or natural burial ground is also a short ceremony ending with ashes being placed or buried in a chosen space. Poems and/or prayers or important wording is said in recognition of the final part of the person’s life story.
Bury my ashes in the family plot
Or choose for me my eternal spot
Leave me to lie in the earth’s embrace
A grass lidded natural resting place
Ellie Farrell
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