Sometimes called the ‘low cost, no frills options’, unattended cremations, or a burial without a service, direct cremations and direct burials have increased in popularity.
Direct Cremation and Burials
Direct cremations have been around for a long time. I first wrote about direct cremations as a guest blog on alternative funerals back in 2015. This was a few weeks before David Bowie died, and it was updated when he died. Yoko Ono’s decision not to have a funeral for John Lennon was seemingly influential when Bowie made plans for his own funeral. Actress Doris Day also had a direct cremation as she was a shy person who wasn’t a fan of publicity.
A direct cremation involves the body of a person who has died being collected from their place of death by a funeral director and taken to a council run crematorium. Alternatively there are companies who remove any need for a funeral director and will collect the body of a person and take it to a place of storage awaiting an unattended cremation. Either way removes any option to hold a ceremony of goodbye or a religious funeral service. Direct cremations are unattended, without wording said.
They are on the increase as many choose to have this instead of an expensive funeral with their estate/family/partner having to pay for expensive funeral items. Direct cremation removes the need for embalming, flowers, an expensive coffin, hire of the ceremony room at a crematorium, funeral cars and a hearse, pallbearers, orders of services being printed, a celebrant or funeral officiant and attendees.
As stated, a ‘low cost, no frills option’ which appeals to many. A direct burial is the same. No ceremony or service, just a burial.
Why is a Funeral Ceremony Important?
Direct cremations are both cost effective and functional, but to what overall cost?
A funeral serves more than a purpose of the disposal of a body. That isn’t the purpose of a funeral. A funeral or as I create, a celebration of life is a time to say goodbye to the person who has died. It is closure for the family, friends, colleagues and all who attend. It is a time of support and unity for each other brought together through their love and connections to the person. It is an essential part of the grieving process.
Funeral attendance maybe further reasons why a direct cremation or burial is arranged. Funerals can be awkward for some families who maybe feuding amongst members, there could have different religious beliefs, live in different geographical locations, unable or unwilling to attend. If the person who has died wasn’t well liked or caused hurt to others, a direct cremation has been chosen.
Those who choose direct cremations or burials do so for different reasons. For most the low cost is what attracts them as they would rather any money goes to their family not the funeral director or their funeral costs. For others it is the belief they do not want to cause further upset or pain to their loved ones by having a funeral. For a select few, they do not want their funeral to be attended.
Memorial Ceremonies After a Direct Cremation
I have created and officiated at many memorial and life celebration ceremonies after a direct cremation or burial has taken place. During the pandemic guests at funerals were limited. Funerals were watched by video link with many postponing any kind of ceremony until we were allowed to return to normal.
Some people proclaimed they had been denied the opportunity to say goodbye and an increase in the demand for memorial ceremonies was experienced. Some of those ceremonies had the ashes of the person in attendance, some didn’t.
Many were held outdoors as people were still weary of gathering indoors, particularly with ceremonies held for those who had died from Covid-19. Most were informal and celebratory with the person’s life story told, singing and music, poems, memories, and tributes shared by guests. Some had more of a funeral vibe with them which a eulogy, music, and a scattering of the ashes.
Scattering of Ashes Ceremonies
Families and people who are unable to hold a funeral due to a direct cremation sometimes decide to have a scattering of ashes ceremony. These like memorial ceremonies can be formal or life centred shorter ceremonies held outdoors or indoors before moving outside or onwards for the scattering.
Scattering of ashes ceremonies are closure if there wasn’t a funeral. Words are said, music can be heard, and the ashes are scattered by loved ones who take it in turns to have the scatter tube the ashes are in. Ashes can be scattered on beaches, in woods, a garden or in most places with the permission of the landowner. Many are released into the sea from the beaches in Whitby or left on the headland by Whitby abbey.
Saying Goodbye When There is to be a Direct Cremation
If there isn’t to be a memorial or scattering of ashes ceremony how can those grieving the death of a person say goodbye? The answer is this, goodbyes are said in a way that is beneficial to those saying them.
Some people visit natural beauty spots and leave flowers or spend some time with their personal thoughts. Some write messages and cast them on to the sea. Some plant trees or plants, some donate to a charity. Some buy memorial benches, some have ashes made into keepsakes or jewellery. Some go for a meal and eat the person’s favourite meal or go to a pub and raise a few glasses as they share stories of their times with the person as we do after a funeral.
A direct cremation or burial doesn’t take away the opportunity to say goodbye, it just removes the purpose of gathering in a certain building, at a certain time in expected clothing. It means we are less likely to see the usual wedding and funeral family who we only usually see on such occasions.
With the cost of living continually rising, so too will the costs generated by dying. Demand for direct cremations will continue to increase meaning we must find a different way of mourning death and celebrating lives.
Whatever plans are made, a well-attended celebration of life in a packed crematorium, or an unattended ‘low cost, no frills’ direct cremation, we will still hold the memories and thoughts of our loved and special people within us.
Main image by Image by: Georg Lippitsch